Too Poor for Mental Illness

Too Poor For Mental Illness

How can a country that prides itself on healthcare policies view mental illness as a second or third priority? What I hope for is the day mental illness is treated with the same importance and seriousness as any other illness. Mental illness is, after all, a brain disorder.

Crowded MRT Train

Leaving the mentally ill behind

We see sights like the one above on the train. It almost becomes parts of our daily routine. I was a commuter on the train recently, on my way to many different job interviews. These two issues etched a thought in my mind: (1) How many people I see out and about suffer from some form of mental illness?; and (2) Am I going to face the same stigma because I am ill?

Shame

How we shame the mentally ill into a lonely recovery

To say that mental health and mental illnesses are plagued by stigma is a gross understatement. Yet, after one of the most successful decades into looking at neurology, we still see poor mental health and mental illness as a form of personal weakness and indulgence. This stigma that we put on people (or even ourselves) could shame them or others into not seeking treatment. Even if they do seek treatment, they can go through a nightmarish lonely recovery.

Sick & tired

I am sick and tired

I am so sick and tired of having crying and anger outbursts.  I had a threw a tantrum at my father due to a family dispute with him. I self-harmed and then I was being uncooperative a few days later when he wanted to have dinner as a family.  After that,  I had a meltdown and I actually ran away from home and I drank a lot of alcohol. Every time I get little bursts of happiness, I will start to feel it crashing down again, and somehow something happens which triggers me into a downward spiral.

On Medication

[Repost] In Love & On Medication

The first time my boyfriend hid my nearly empty packet of Alprazolam (an anti-anxiety drug that is commonly known as Xanax, and acts as a minor tranquilizer) and my brand new packet of Sertraline (an SSRI-type anti-depressant that is commonly known as Zoloft), I wanted to kill him. And, if I’m being honest, also myself.

Ostracise

Bullying and ostracism, and caring too much

You often hear news stories of loners. Loners going on a shooting rampage. Loners killing themselves. Everyone has their preconceived ideas and label other people as such. I hear things like:”This boy is a loner, but he can speak well on stage.”, or “We didn’t know what happened to him. He was a nice and quiet boy, he didn’t have many friends, but he decided to do XXX”. 

Art as a form of therapy

Depression as an art form

Recovery might mean the person with mental health issues becoming a brand new person. His or her interests may have changed. But I haven’t changed. I am still sensation-seeking, adventurous, spunky and weird. However, I notice that I used to like concrete and tangible items, such as bags, and clothing. However, nowadays, I go for experiences and knowledge, things which are less tangible in nature.

People Talking

Weird Dream and Thinking

Maybe I should be more random and blog about weird dreams and anything that comes to mind, like Xia Xue. So here it goes. I also have some depression poems and new stuff, but it’s quite dark and all, so I shall leave it aside for now. 

Friend

How friends help my depression

Social insufficiencies can cause serious mental health issues. We, as humans, are social creatures and need to interact with others. We yearn to have relationships with others, communications with others, support systems, being part of our community, feeling loved by others. But friends who have never experienced mental health issues find it hard to help and can turn out to have certain negative side effects.

School vs. Health

Masters in Science But Backward in Education

We have an education system that makes our students masters in Math and Science. This was posted by Claire last week. But I believe that this comes from a larger issue. Through some research, we might have the best system that makes our students masters in Math and Science, but the education system is backward in terms of helping our students grow and mature as students.

Conversation about mental health

The Conversation Regarding Mental Health

We don’t really talk about mental health. It’s an issue that we need to talk about more but the only times we tend to talk about them is when something bad happens. I was inspired to write an article about the state of conversation about mental health after a conversation with a rather important figure in my life growing up.

ArtScience Museum

ArtScience Museum – Interesting! Creepy!

This poses a lot of questions in relation to mental health. Is our self-worth dependent on our IQ or our abilities? Will eugenics take over the world? How will eugenics affect mental health in the future? Where is the line drawn when it comes to ethics? How far would we go to alter or modify ourselves to fit the ideal body type or figure? It doesn’t get worse than this. Uncanny valley doesn’t get worse than this! This is literally the valley of valleys.

Shower

Self Care Is Difficult: My way of making myself take a shower

As someone who goes through periods and waves of depression, self-care can get terribly difficult for me. Brushing my teeth, taking showers or washing my face becomes something I do every few days. Recently, I found one way to make myself take showers. Still working on other self-care methods, but I think taking a shower can be one of the things that make a person feel more refreshed. A slightly cool shower running down the face and body can be very effective in upping one’s mood slightly, being clean and all.

Anxiety

I just had a weird dream

My anxiety has been quite bad recently, I had to take a valium pill for these past two days. I keep having the 21st birthday dream, where I tried to organise a 21st birthday party, but somehow, something would crop out and nothing would work out. I wished my own birthday was more grand, posher and more lavish but now it’s too late. I am not 21 anymore.

Poetry

Something new, something different – My “Works of Art”

Please let me out of this dark, scary place, i’m being torn apart at the seams, i am being shackled by your chains. My inner demons are tormenting me, it’s eating me from inside out, i want the good ol’ days back. I just want to get through the day, the lights are flickering more, the walls are closing up even further, i can’t breathe, i’m going to hyperventilate.

Group Therapy

Part 1: Reflections on Psychotherapy Group

I receive treatment at IMH and have attended a myriad of support groups both over the course of my stay in the ward and since then, across various outpatient settings. Recently, my therapist suggested I attend her Psychotherapy Process Group. The objective of which would be to actively work through sticky interpersonal issues that surfaced during group interactions. I struggle with BPD traits and since they tend to manifest themselves as trust and boundary issues in many of my intimate relationships, I decided to give it a go.