Please let me out of this dark, scary place, i’m being torn apart at the seams, i am being shackled by your chains. My inner demons are tormenting me, it’s eating me from inside out, i want the good ol’ days back. I just want to get through the day, the lights are flickering more, the walls are closing up even further, i can’t breathe, i’m going to hyperventilate.
So anyway, I decided to do something different today. Today, I will show you guys my works of art. My poetry, my prose and all the things I did when I was feeling creative.
I have re-posted these poems/prose on other platforms, but I own the rights to them, and I haven’t used any of them for a school assignment(and I am not intending to), so it’s alright.
So these are my best works… Well, I showed them to one of my psychiatrist in the past, to describe the extent of my depression and he slapped out a prescription for Risperdal and a schizophrenia diagnosis. I feel so embarrassed by my poems, but screw it, I will just post it. Sounds a bit cheesy.
I’m in a big, black dark box.
Yes, it gets darker everytime.
There used to be some light in there.
The walls are closing up on me.
Years ago it didn’t feel quite so dark.
welcome to my little black box, my dear.
where am i? i want to get out.
no, we will be stuck here for quite a while
my screams are being drowned out
i’m pleading for mercy
please let me out of this dark, scary place
i’m being torn apart at the seams
i am being shackled by your chains
my inner demons are tormenting me
its eating me from inside out
i want the good ol’ days back
i just want to get through the day
the lights are flickering more
the walls are closing up even further
i can’t breathe, i’m going to hyperventilate
This was written when I felt very upset and tears were pouring out of my eyes. I wrote it a few years ago, and I think my other proses were lacklustre compared to this. This is one of my best works.
I’m stepping in a bed of thorns
Every step I take, its hurting me
Every move you make, its hurting me
Borne out of desperation and hopelessness
Fear engulfs my heart
It hurts to see you this way
But we are all fighting our personal demons
Delusions of grandeur
Wanting to be a star
Nobody takes me seriously
Your struggles with darkness
Is what I can feel emanating from you
But I am too distant too far away
I hear your cries from a distance
But I am helpless, utterly helpless
I am just a bystander in the distance
Tread carefully in the water
Cause we could drown anytime
Tread carefully on the land
Cause quicksand will swallow us
Tread carefully in the mud
We could sink in the bog
One, two, three.
Thrice again, you have cut me off.
One, two, three.
Come back….just come back….
One, two, three.
Come back to consciousness.
Put on a facade everyday.
Yo, go to work, Yo go to school.
Act like everything is fine.
But nah, everything stinks like shit.
And the shit is clouding up everything.
And the clouds are not clearing.
And clear skies have turned grey.
They say you have a dark side.
I can’t deal with it but I’m lost.
Lost in the distant echo.
Don’t disappear into the void.
And leave me here…..
This was written by me when an internet friend told me he wanted to commit suicide because I didn’t love him and stuff. We had a burgeoning romance going on. So I felt so helpless as he told me he wanted to die and he played a sad song for me. Also, the time when I discovered Tristam’s song – I remember.
I was in the pits of despair
I was depressed
And you say that I’m impaired
I am not impressed
You say that i’m insane
I say I’m walking down a different lane
I think I’m creative
You think that’s relative
You say that I’m confused
I say that I’m bemused
I felt that I was dying inside
You think that I lack insight
I regret being provocative
But it’s my prerogative
Now that I feel high
People are going to ask me why
But they are not going to understand
So I conclude that they misunderstand
Sent this to one of the mental health blogs….but it wasn’t accepted, cause’ it was too incoherent or weird? Or too dark.