Bullying and ostracism, and caring too much

You often hear news stories of loners. Loners going on a shooting rampage. Loners killing themselves. Everyone has their preconceived ideas and label other people as such. I hear things like:”This boy is a loner, but he can speak well on stage.”, or “We didn’t know what happened to him. He was a nice and quiet boy, he didn’t have many friends, but he decided to do XXX”. 




But think about it: Did people choose to be ostracised or lonely? For the fair majority of us, I would say no. It is not fair that people have to be ostracised and be subjected to severe bullying or ostracism. Why?

Why do you have to make some people popular and well-liked and ostracise OTHERS? They certainly didn’t choose to be different, and nothing warrants the cruel treatment that they get from you. If you are a loner, I feel you. I feel your pain of not being able to fit in. The world needs to be a kinder and nicer place, or else, more tragedies might happen.


What can we do to promote acceptance then?

I tend to seek out people who are lonely, or they do not have any group members to work with. I try to be inclusive and nicer to those who are different, be it physically or mentally. I am a narcissist, but I am a “pity party” kind of person. Whenever someone seems similar to me, or the same as me even, I call them kindred spirits. I am especially drawn to “depressives” and its kind of a “wallowing in misery together” thing which attracts me to others.

I have been caring too much about what people think of me. I have been caring too much about my grades. I have been caring too much about group projects. But I am too tired to give a rats’ ass anymore. It’s because I cared so much, that’s why I fell sick. I became so sick, like a dog.

I am trying to re-evaluate my life, and think of my problems this way: They are a mere drop of water in the entire ocean. If I do not manage to work, fine. If I do not accomplish anything fine. There are times where I want to wrap myself and huddle up in bed, and not do anything, and become a child again. No more problems. I feel safe that way. Whenever I feel very depressed, I prefer to stay indoors, because that’s the only way I feel safe.

So if you have been bullied or ostracised, ignore those assholes. They are not worth any iota or byte in your brain. Try to distract yourself from thinking about them. I know people who really loathe going to school, and part of it may stem from bullying. Academics too, probably. And my heart goes out to them. So young, but depressed already.

Being in the hospital is sure a safe place, physically, but mentally, I think YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary). Like one psychiatric nurse said, “the hospital is an artificial environment”. Artificial. No wonder I feel so protected away from all the problems from the outside world. As for rehabilitation activities, it feels like a safe place, with no judgement, activities which are within my ability, and not so stressful, like with tests and exams. Sadly, I can’t participate in any at the moment, due to time constraints as well as the waiting lists. Plus the referral part. It’s so troublesome, ugh.


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