The road to recovery is not easily traversed alone. But it is too often that those with mental illnesses end up in a state of loneliness, only to find themselves looking for a way to get better, for everyone around them cannot fathom a way to help them. Maybe they cannot even fathom mental illnesses as a whole. Many times a positive and supportive environment can do more than medicine can ever do. I’ve mentioned how stigma affects recovery but I am often torn by the selfishness behind recovering for someone else.
I am often told that my family and friends would be sad if I took my own life. I am often told that I am not alone and in fact, I can do well with few or even alone.
The same people also tell me that my mental illnesses are not real and only a piece of my imagination. The same people also tell me that plenty of exercise and sleep will cure depression. These same people also tell me that I should get over it, stop being so weak and stop being so vulnerable. These people also tell me this is my problem, and that I will affect others with my problems and I should stop being selfish.
So is it worth it to recover for these people? I look at recovery as a personal goal for myself, to be the person that I was before I became affected by my conditions. But I am often told that I need to recover in order to reduce the amount of trouble I am causing others. This might be another perfect example of how selfish we are as individuals, and only wanting to reduce the amount of trouble we have for ourselves.
It is infinitely hard to find someone who helps because they genuinely want you to recover and when we find one, more often than not we don’t want to trouble them with our troubles. This of course only comes after being told these troubles are unjustified and we should just get rid of them.
If I fail at recovery and take my own life, I am not going to regret affecting those around me who might have told me about how my problems affected them. If I recover, I am not going to thank those people whom I have affected because of my problems. If we are going to be so self-centred and unsupportive in other’s recovery, I don’t think any of us deserve the props for aiding in it, and we aren’t discounted from pressuring them in their failed recovery as well.