Please share your opinion of this post with us!
Our comments section is below!

Beauty and the Beast

Holding On And Letting Go

What really struck me was the conundrum even ordinary people faced daily with letting go and/or holding on to intimate relationships. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) this is a struggle close to my own heart. A core feature of BPD is the presence of serious interpersonal problems. People with BPD tend to have intense, unstable relationships, characterised by frequent wavering between strong clinginess/dependency and sudden withdrawal.


 

 

 

I recently watched the movie ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and was struck by the exchange between Belle and the Beast just after they’ve danced together for the first time. It goes something like this:

 

Beast: “It’s foolish for a creature like me to hope that one day he might earn you affection”

Belle: “I don’t know”

Beast: “Really? You think you could be happy here”

Belle: “Can anyone be happy if they aren’t free”

Timestamp: 1:27:50 from The Beauty and the Beast by Walt Disney

 

And then the verse and chorus from the Beast’s song after Belle leaves for her father:

 

I was the master of my fate

I never needed anybody in my life

I learnt the truth too late

 

I’ll never shake away the pain

I close my eyes but she’s still there

I let her steal into my melancholy heart

It’s more than I can bear

 

Now I know she’ll never leave me

even as she runs away

She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me

come what may

 

The Beast’s song, Evermore, by Dan Stevens can be heard here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diLa-gpHRKc

What really struck me was the conundrum even ordinary people faced daily with letting go and/or holding on to intimate relationships. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) this is a struggle close to my own heart. A core feature of BPD is the presence of serious interpersonal problems. People with BPD tend to have intense, unstable relationships, characterised by frequent wavering between strong clinginess/dependency and sudden withdrawal (Salters-Pedneault, 2017)

I used to protect myself by steering completely clear of all intimate relationships and choosing to believe that I didn’t need anyone. Much like the Beast himself, actually. He’d spent many years a prisoner within his own castle walls. The problem is that letting someone dear to your heart in creates an almost immediate vulnerability to the constant push-pull undertow of the relationship. There is the “I need you, don’t leave me.” voice. But I believe I can also chose to speak back up and say: “I want you by my side, but I do not own you.”

I’m beginning to suspect that there are times when I may actually have to be okay with physically letting go of someone/thing, to truly be able to hold on to it where it counts.


References, Links & Sources:

  • Condon, B. (2017). Beauty and the Beast. Hollywood: Walt Disney Pictures and Mandeville Films.
  • Salters-Pedneault, K. (2017). What to Know About Romantic BPD RelationshipsVerywell. Retrieved 16 June 2017, from https://www.verywell.com/understanding-romantic-bpd-relationships-425217
  • Thowfeek, T., & Thowfeek, T. (2017). Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Out of the FOG. Retrieved 16 June 2017, from http://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/2015/12/6/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd

 




We hope you liked that post. Feel free to read another article or share your opinion.
Our comments section is below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.