My anxiety has been quite bad recently, I had to take a valium pill for these past two days. I keep having the 21st birthday dream, where I tried to organise a 21st birthday party, but somehow, something would crop out and nothing would work out. I wished my own birthday was more grand, posher and more lavish but now it’s too late. I am not 21 anymore.
My anxiety has been quite bad recently, I had to take a valium pill for these past two days. I keep having the 21st birthday dream, where I tried to organise a 21st birthday party, but somehow, something would crop out and nothing would work out. I wished my own birthday was more grand, posher and more lavish but now it’s too late. I am not 21 anymore. Anyway….
I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I had a psychotic episode. I have had multiple dreams where I had psychotic episodes, but let me blog about this one anyway.
I dreamt that I was blogging on this blog again, and I wanted to talk about the two years I sought mental health help for an at-risk mental state as well as the different wards I was hospitalised in, and how do they compare in terms of advantages and accommodation, and therapy. I dreamt that something was following me, but I couldn’t figure out what it was(quite common for me in real life). Also, I dreamt that words were jumping all over the page, and there was one post where I saw one of our team members post a discord channel. There was a call from an AVA spokesperson about a survey, and the voices were distorted and weird. I passed the phone to my dad, but I still heard distorted and weird voices when he was speaking to the person. Also, I was wearing a pair of ski pants and winter coat, and the room felt very hot and I wanted to take it off. After I took them off, I felt no relief.
Now for my real experience with hallucinations:
I was on a community service trip in China and I saw two faces, one on the light switch and one on the window. They looked pale, and they were bald, like the faces from scream 4. My hotel room was overlooking a busy street, and the sound of the cars on the road also sounded very menacing suddenly, like the sound from a horror movie. I was very scared and I ran out of the room. I felt safer walking around in the streets and staying at the hotel reception/lobby area. When I was staying in the hostel, I did not dare to come out after 8pm because I felt like there was a Pontianak lurking outside, at the corridor. I was also very terrified of moths, and somehow I had very disturbed sleep every day. The lecturer prayed for me every day and I had to move to another room to sleep.
When I was on a 13-hour shift as a banquet server, I took the company shuttle bus home. I started seeing people, and I thought there was a man wearing blue shirt and jeans but actually, it was just an ordinary bus stop.
Sometimes, when I was eating alone at the void deck, or at the park, I would see a face in the leaves of trees and bushes, staring back at me.
Previously, before these incidents occurred, I was already having the feeling that something was following me, but whenever I looked around, I saw nothing. These usually lasted 2-3 days.Those were the days where I stayed up the whole night, watching cartoons until I fell asleep at 3am. It was a nightmare.
Also, there were strange incidents where I would hear random radio channels as well as radio static even though it wasn’t turned on. There was once I heard a weird voice/noise, coming from my stomach, it was very weird. Also, I heard babies crying at night as well as cats meowing.(probably normal)
Sometimes, my drink would taste weird, and I would smell the scent of perfume whenever I was in the lift. Moreover, I had the feeling of ants crawling up my body sometimes.(Which was true, sometimes) Also, I would have the taste of shit in my mouth, like someone took a dump there.