Mentally ill have a bigger difficulty in employment than others

No free pass for mental illness

My mind is quite jumbled up right now. I am on Epilim (stupid name man) and Fluoxetine right now. I stopped the Olanzapine. Sometimes, I think I have cognitive decline, as I can barely string together a coherent sentence, yet sometimes, I am functioning well cognitively, and I can be eloquent too. I am trying to collect my thoughts, and maybe the Olanzapine helped me organise my thoughts better? There are so many events I want to attend, yet, they might not be that interesting after all, so I am hesitant. Also, school is starting so I need to learn […]

Fear of failure

Life is a gamble

Everything in life, to me, is a gamble. Taking exams is a gamble, you might do well or you might fail. Making friends is a gamble, you might get ignored or ostracised, or you might develop a blossoming friendship with someone. Anxiety has stopped me from doing so many things. After the passing of the late Chester Bennington, his ardent fans hashtagged: #fuckdepression. That is not to say that depression does not exist or dismiss the plight of those who suffer from depression. It is facing the monster in its face and saying fuck you. It is so badass and […]

Eating Disorders Awareness

REFLECTIONS 2018 – Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Tailored is a new mental health initiative set up by 2 eating disorder survivors in recovery. It aims to promote mental wellness through support groups such as their “Eating Disorders Recovery Programme”. They have an alteray endeavour session once every two weeks, which aims to help connect individuals with lived experience with Eating Disorders and help them develop their artistic ability and talents as well as to inspire individuals. They also provide bullet journals, caregiver toolkits and wellness boxes for mental health and self-care needs.

Psychotic Episode

A dream about a psychotic episode

I don’t want a mental health diagnosis because there is a lot of stigma and ramifications involved. Not being able to apply for insurance. Job discrimination. Taking you very seriously. Taking you so seriously that you are too serious that you have to be in an ambulance, that sort of thing.

Kesha

Back after a hiatus

I do not identify as a depressive anymore. If someone asked me how I would describe myself, I would tell them that I am a depressive. But now, I think I identify as a clubber or an LGBT member. I thought I had kicked my depressive tantrums to the curb already. My father threatened to send me to IMH forever because I kept throwing tantrums and I really couldn’t help it.

Sick & tired

I am sick and tired

I am so sick and tired of having crying and anger outbursts.  I had a threw a tantrum at my father due to a family dispute with him. I self-harmed and then I was being uncooperative a few days later when he wanted to have dinner as a family.  After that,  I had a meltdown and I actually ran away from home and I drank a lot of alcohol. Every time I get little bursts of happiness, I will start to feel it crashing down again, and somehow something happens which triggers me into a downward spiral.

Ostracise

Bullying and ostracism, and caring too much

You often hear news stories of loners. Loners going on a shooting rampage. Loners killing themselves. Everyone has their preconceived ideas and label other people as such. I hear things like:”This boy is a loner, but he can speak well on stage.”, or “We didn’t know what happened to him. He was a nice and quiet boy, he didn’t have many friends, but he decided to do XXX”. 

Art as a form of therapy

Depression as an art form

Recovery might mean the person with mental health issues becoming a brand new person. His or her interests may have changed. But I haven’t changed. I am still sensation-seeking, adventurous, spunky and weird. However, I notice that I used to like concrete and tangible items, such as bags, and clothing. However, nowadays, I go for experiences and knowledge, things which are less tangible in nature.

People Talking

Weird Dream and Thinking

Maybe I should be more random and blog about weird dreams and anything that comes to mind, like Xia Xue. So here it goes. I also have some depression poems and new stuff, but it’s quite dark and all, so I shall leave it aside for now. 

ArtScience Museum

ArtScience Museum – Interesting! Creepy!

This poses a lot of questions in relation to mental health. Is our self-worth dependent on our IQ or our abilities? Will eugenics take over the world? How will eugenics affect mental health in the future? Where is the line drawn when it comes to ethics? How far would we go to alter or modify ourselves to fit the ideal body type or figure? It doesn’t get worse than this. Uncanny valley doesn’t get worse than this! This is literally the valley of valleys.

Anxiety

I just had a weird dream

My anxiety has been quite bad recently, I had to take a valium pill for these past two days. I keep having the 21st birthday dream, where I tried to organise a 21st birthday party, but somehow, something would crop out and nothing would work out. I wished my own birthday was more grand, posher and more lavish but now it’s too late. I am not 21 anymore.

Poetry

Something new, something different – My “Works of Art”

Please let me out of this dark, scary place, i’m being torn apart at the seams, i am being shackled by your chains. My inner demons are tormenting me, it’s eating me from inside out, i want the good ol’ days back. I just want to get through the day, the lights are flickering more, the walls are closing up even further, i can’t breathe, i’m going to hyperventilate.

Messed up rubrics cube

The thoughts swirling around in my mind and confessions

Thus, I think I may appear high functioning, or I seem like I am doing okay when I am actually not. In reality, I feel that I am quite low functioning. I have huge employment and education gaps. That’s why I am writing this. I feel that I am lagging behind my peers, and I feel that I may not be able to find suitable employment in the future, so I don’t feel like I stand to lose by writing this.

Deejay

Song Reviews: Part 2

He mentioned that he felt that things were too heavy for him, and there was a lot of emotional baggage in his mind, and he needed to release it. He stood in solidarity with his fans, showing that he has been dealing with a lot of issues.

Linkin Park

RIP Chester Bennington

I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare. ― Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

Mirror Maze

The Mirror Maze – A honestly frightening encounter for me

When we entered the mirror maze, it felt like a psychedelic drug-fuelled acid trip, which wasn’t a good thing, in my mind. We had to use our pool noodles to help us feel our way through the mirror maze, as we might knock into the mirrors accidentally. There were many dead-ends and your own reflection would stare back at you from multiple mirrors.

Filmmaker

3 Films by Hot Off The Press

For some of you, you might be familiar with Over the Rainbow, a non-profit organisation which aims to help those with mental health issues. SG Creations is a subsidiary of Over the Rainbow, and they are showing 3 original films for members of the public to watch, with the aim of destigmatising mental health issues, under their media literacy project “Hot Off The Press”.

Monsters

Facing My Fears

If you stay up at night, tossing and turning in bed, contemplating all the what-ifs, I feel you. If you hide in the toilet, shaking with fear and anxiety, I feel you. If you prefer to stay in the comfort of your house and not venture out, I feel you. Because every step feels like a thousand miles.

Cloud of Thoughts

Self-Care and Self-Help

Self-care is important. You have to take care of yourself. Your doctor and therapist can only do so much to help you. You have to take little steps to work towards recovery, and help yourself by avoiding your triggers. It is really not easy. Sometimes you may lapse into the whirlpool of negativity or you might still hallucinate.

Ghosting

Ghosting and Invalidation

According to Oxford dictionary online, ghosting is defined as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” The article talks about how some friendships turn awkward or sour, and neither party is willing to reconcile their differences, so they end up parting ways.

Open Field

Staying calm in the face of adversity

Hey guys! Recently I went to Thailand with my mum, and you could call it a sabbatical, a holiday, or whatever you call it. We returned home after 1 day in Thailand. We had received news that there was a bombing in Thailand, about 0.8km from our hotel. My mum was very scared and she was panicking, almost on the verge of a panic attack. She told me that I should have listened to my gut instincts and her sixth sense. But hindsight is only 20/20.