You often hear news stories of loners. Loners going on a shooting rampage. Loners killing themselves. Everyone has their preconceived ideas and label other people as such. I hear things like:”This boy is a loner, but he can speak well on stage.”, or “We didn’t know what happened to him. He was a nice and quiet boy, he didn’t have many friends, but he decided to do XXX”.
I have been quite busy recently. I think I am venturing out of my comfort zone again because this time I went to a haunted house at Bukit Gombak CC.
Recovery might mean the person with mental health issues becoming a brand new person. His or her interests may have changed. But I haven’t changed. I am still sensation-seeking, adventurous, spunky and weird. However, I notice that I used to like concrete and tangible items, such as bags, and clothing. However, nowadays, I go for experiences and knowledge, things which are less tangible in nature.
Major Depression in one sentence: “a biochemical disorder with a genetic component, when early experiences influences, where a person cannot appreciate sunsets”. This is a great lecture by Professor Robert Sapolsky, from Stanford University, on Depression with notes prepared by us.
Maybe I should be more random and blog about weird dreams and anything that comes to mind, like Xia Xue. So here it goes. I also have some depression poems and new stuff, but it’s quite dark and all, so I shall leave it aside for now.
I recently realised something. They looked at my resume, decided I was a suitable candidate and called me down. They liked my experience and education. However, the moment they realised I had a mental illness, my qualifications meant nothing. I became a walking mental illness.
Yes, indeed they are.
Social insufficiencies can cause serious mental health issues. We, as humans, are social creatures and need to interact with others. We yearn to have relationships with others, communications with others, support systems, being part of our community, feeling loved by others. But friends who have never experienced mental health issues find it hard to help and can turn out to have certain negative side effects.
Mental illness makes you do a lot of things that people would deem “stupid”. They may sound melodramatic to an outsider, but to someone actually experiencing them, they are frustrating and terrifying. Many people do not understand that.
We have an education system that makes our students masters in Math and Science. This was posted by Claire last week. But I believe that this comes from a larger issue. Through some research, we might have the best system that makes our students masters in Math and Science, but the education system is backward in terms of helping our students grow and mature as students.
So I found this new café, and the food there looks very appetising and visually appealing. I am going to try out the Halloween menu with my friend today, and fingers crossed. 😡
The mental health continuum looks at mental health and mental illness as separate things. They may affect each other, but one does not determine the other. In other words, you can have brilliant mental health but yet have a mental illness.
Claire recently blogged about how Singapore is the capital of education and anxiety. I have to agree with her, I have been quite busy, and stressed.
Singapore students produce the best academic results but face the highest levels of academic anxiety globally.
We don’t really talk about mental health. It’s an issue that we need to talk about more but the only times we tend to talk about them is when something bad happens. I was inspired to write an article about the state of conversation about mental health after a conversation with a rather important figure in my life growing up.
This poses a lot of questions in relation to mental health. Is our self-worth dependent on our IQ or our abilities? Will eugenics take over the world? How will eugenics affect mental health in the future? Where is the line drawn when it comes to ethics? How far would we go to alter or modify ourselves to fit the ideal body type or figure? It doesn’t get worse than this. Uncanny valley doesn’t get worse than this! This is literally the valley of valleys.
I had become a monster, and I pushed everyone away, whether friends or foes. I felt quite ashamed that I had a misunderstanding with a friend, and as a result, I actually left a meetup much earlier than expected without saying a word, because said friend was there.
As someone who goes through periods and waves of depression, self-care can get terribly difficult for me. Brushing my teeth, taking showers or washing my face becomes something I do every few days. Recently, I found one way to make myself take showers. Still working on other self-care methods, but I think taking a shower can be one of the things that make a person feel more refreshed. A slightly cool shower running down the face and body can be very effective in upping one’s mood slightly, being clean and all.
Thinspo, or thin-inspiration, is more rampant than ever today – it is every Internet user’s responsibility to work against its rise, and the leaders Ana and Mia.
My anxiety has been quite bad recently, I had to take a valium pill for these past two days. I keep having the 21st birthday dream, where I tried to organise a 21st birthday party, but somehow, something would crop out and nothing would work out. I wished my own birthday was more grand, posher and more lavish but now it’s too late. I am not 21 anymore.
Please let me out of this dark, scary place, i’m being torn apart at the seams, i am being shackled by your chains. My inner demons are tormenting me, it’s eating me from inside out, i want the good ol’ days back. I just want to get through the day, the lights are flickering more, the walls are closing up even further, i can’t breathe, i’m going to hyperventilate.
I receive treatment at IMH and have attended a myriad of support groups both over the course of my stay in the ward and since then, across various outpatient settings. Recently, my therapist suggested I attend her Psychotherapy Process Group. The objective of which would be to actively work through sticky interpersonal issues that surfaced during group interactions. I struggle with BPD traits and since they tend to manifest themselves as trust and boundary issues in many of my intimate relationships, I decided to give it a go.
Excoriation disorder is a disorder whereby the sufferer feels the compulsive urge to pick at his or her own skin. Common places for skin picking include the scalp, shoulders, hands etc.
So for the love of God, Buddha, Mohammed, or whatever god you believe in, if someone in your life suffers from mental illness, please visit them. Please care for them and extend a helping hand. Sinead, like myself, are fortunate enough to be seeking constant treatment and are able to share our experiences and opinions on what we go through. But there is a significant group of people who cannot.
Some people may find it very difficult to talk about their feelings for a number of different reasons. These includes not being able to find the right words to describe what they are feeling, or feeling embarrassed and ashamed to open up about something so personal to a therapist who may seem like a stranger. These reasons are all understandable. After all, emotions are very complex and an intimate part of one self. Yet, these former emotions are often the ones that need the most attention, release and analyzing. Doing so will greatly aid the process of healing.
I have never fessed up and actually recognised where my thoughts go sometimes. But the fact that I cannot care for myself, the fact that I cannot remember when was the last time I was happy and the fact that I do not see myself as a living being in the coming years scare me. It should scare others around me more than it does, and that is why I fight stigma.
Thus, I think I may appear high functioning, or I seem like I am doing okay when I am actually not. In reality, I feel that I am quite low functioning. I have huge employment and education gaps. That’s why I am writing this. I feel that I am lagging behind my peers, and I feel that I may not be able to find suitable employment in the future, so I don’t feel like I stand to lose by writing this.
Watching the girls’ routine during the Games, their reactions upon winning, and then this reflective piece describing the entire process, this somehow felt reminiscent of therapy to me. The metaphors and allusions and perfect descriptions of drowning are something I can relate easily too, even though I’m by no means a synchronised swimmer.
Being an optimist myself, I have always chosen to focus on the bright side of things, on the things that I could change and improve. Thus, I would like to share some ideas on how to focus on the good side of things and drive out those negative thoughts through three simple steps!
Basically, inside my mind. Being someone with anxiety disorder makes it hard for others to understand what really goes on in my mind because everyone has anxiety, but some have anxiety disorder. I found this list a long way back and had it saved as a note in my phone, waiting for someone that I got close enough to share with. Disappointingly, I couldn’t find anyone to share this with, so here it is. I did not write this, but I did find it humorous and maybe you can help someone in need.